So I grabbed my phone and tuned on Grindr. There was this guy who looked like a hot younger Hulk Hogan. Blonde, broad shoulders, body builder type. Wh...ch isn’t my type – I prefer lean swimmers build.The guy was within a kilometer from me so I sent him a photo of me in a speedo.He replied back, he said he was a bottom, loved being dominated and he had a speedo. I promised I’d dominate him, he promised to wear his speedo.It wasn’t 10 minutes later and there was a knock at my hotel door. I looked. " Master takes the cuffs and spreader and steps away with fire in his eyes. "Present yourself slut!" OH NO, Master is upset with me. I drop to my knees and present myself again...knees wide apart, palms face up and open on my thighs, back arched and my head is bowed towards the carpet. Part 2:I must not cry. Tears will show weakness and a lack of trust. Why does Master think I do not trust him? Why is Master not talking? He must be disappointed in me. I hear Master moving, but I can not see. I needed them as an anchor to a world that just plain wasn't making sense any longer. I needed them to find myself because I had lost me somewhere along the way.CALM! RELAX! QUIET! I let those sounds fill me. I let the meaning of those sounds suffuse me. Not the fucking meaning you can find in a dictionary; their meaning to ME. I let them anchor me in the storm of emotion going through me. I wrapped them around me, letting them calm me. The black rage that was boiling in the pit of my stomach. God...”“Yeah.” He said quietly.“How long?”“How long what?”“How long have you been in love with me, Mattson?”He was silent for a long time, not trusting himself to speak. She reached out and grabbed his arm with both hands, and shook him gently to try to get his attention.“I have to know, Mattson. I have to know.” She said it with some urgency, as a thought, merely the beginning of a concept, began to form deep in the recesses of her mind, a place of emotion and turmoil that roiled and tossed.
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